My plans included sleeping, reading, eating, napping, interneting, snoozing and more eating. Best Summer Ever.
Oh, but Karma still has it in for me, so of course not. I was suddenly awoken, by which I mean "yanked violently from a dream about a Tardis full of kittens into a Hell in which David Tennant was never born, kittens are cold and slimy, and alarm clocks go off on Saturdays". It was a rough start.
I had finally lost track of what day it was - the true Hallmark of Summer Vacation - and was trying to enjoy my 1pm breakfast when I suddenly noticed the calendar hanging on the wall. Stuck with a "trying to be cute but really just cheesy" sticker of birthday cake, was May 20.
"Oh God Why?" was the only response my brain could conjure up. Of course, that's to be expected, since it's still in "Error: Brain Not Found... Try Closing All Exams and then Reload" mode.
So naturally, I shifted into Anxiety mode and uttered a phrase I never imagined I would utter, "My twentieth birthday is in three days and I don't know what to do about it."
Celebrate adulthood? Hold a funeral for my Childhood? Use it as excuse to get people to give me money? Pretend I don't know what a birthday is? Yell loudly, "Why didn't anyone tell me my birthday's in three days?" Convince everyone I've been planning a party for three months and be offended that they forgot about it?
Most likely I'll spend the day flooded with Facebook Notifications and people I forgot I friended writing on my wall, "Happy Birthday" - gee, thanks, super heartfelt and original.
But who am I to judge? It's the same thing I do to people on their birthdays. What else is there to say? Maybe I'll wish everyone who writes on my wall a Happy Unbirthday. Frankly, May 20 inspires within me all the excitement of warm Pepsi and broken yellow pencils.
May 20 would be worth celebrating if David Tennant popped out of a box filled with bubble wrap, fuzzy kittens and brightly-colored Sharpies. Otherwise I'll probably have to settle for store-bought peanut butter chocolate cake. Yeah, those two possibilities are approximately equal is awesomeness.
